We are a sickly lot here at the New Times. Our desks are covered with asthma inhalers and antibacterial gel. We are still wearing surgical masks 16 months after swine flu ended. Hell, we even have to bathe in SPF 90 sunscreen every morning lest we burst into flames walking…
So remember Matthew Bellamy? He was the brave man who got booed and escorted out of a Cleveland Indians home game by police simply because he dared to wear LeBron James’ Miami Heat jersey. Yeah, we never thought we’d ever hear about him again. Well, according to an unconfirmed report…
Remember those rumors and reports saying the Miami Dolphins were interested in acquiring Randy Moss after the Minnesota Vikings released him? There were even reports the Dolphins contacted Moss earlier this week. LIES! ALL LIES!!…
Anyone care about the Marlins anymore? Did someone just raise their hand? Oh, the guy in the corner wearing an Ocean Conservancy Group T-shirt. Sorry, we mean the Florida Marlins baseball team, not the actual fish.Anyway, the Marlins have hired Edwin Rodriguez to lead the team for at least another…
In the world of professional sports it’s a rarity when a hometown boy gets to play on his city’s professional teams. Mack Lamb was the first Miami native to ever suit up in the aqua and orange and remained in the community ever since. He passed away recently at the…
Ever since “The Decision,” many a pundit or has-been player has weighed in on LeBron James’s controversial move to the Miami Heat.But their critiques have largely been air-balls, lacking in aim and precision. For God’s sake, the national media treated Charles Barkley like the Oracle of Delphi on the issue…
Any University of Miami alumni traveling back to Coral Gables this weekend to catch the homecoming game against Maryland won’t see Canes colorful QB Jacory Harris in action. Instead, they’ll get a peek at the Canes’ future when true freshman Stephen Morris takes control of the Miami offense…
LeBron James’s decision to take his talents to South Beach seemed to be a marketing disaster, in the short run at least. For a while, it seemed to be impossible to find a LeBron fan outside South Florida. Surprisingly, though, his latest namesake sneaker, Nike’s LeBron 8, is selling just…
We have developed an unhealthy obsession with Hollywood Whiskey Tango Bar & Grill’s offer to buy patrons’ $25 tab if the Miami Heat lose. It speaks to both the gambler and the drunk in us…
Randy Moss sure has had a weird season. The day after the Patriots came to Miami and handed the Dolphins their dorsal tails, he was cut from the team. He ended back in Minnesota, where he just didn’t gel with Brett Favre (not that anyone wants to “gel” with Favre…
Dwyane Wade’s main goal in life right now is to bring championship rings back to Miami, but this Halloween, he found time in his busy schedule to bring sexy back. That’s right: He dressed up as Justin Timberlake, complete with “whiteface.” No word on whether his girlfriend, Gabrielle Union, wore…
After a rocky start against the Boston Celtics, the Miami Heat is off to an appropriately hot start with a three-game winning streak including Friday’s domination of the Orlando Magic in the new Miami team’s AAA debut. In addition to wracking up wins,they’re also adding some new traditions, including a…
The Miami Dolphins remain perfect on the road after traveling into Cincinnati and taking down the Bengals 22-14 on Sunday. They’re now 4-0 on the road, and 4-3 on the season. That’s the good news. The bad news? The Dolphins offense flat out refuses to score touchdowns. Dan Carpenter just…
How do you respond when one of your biggest rivals calls you a lap dog, arrogant and questions your competitiveness? By completely smashing them in the face with your awesomeness and beating the crap out of them by 26 points. That’s one way to go about it. And, coincidentally enough,…
Tonight is the Miami Heat’s home opener against the Orlando Magic at the American Airlines Arena. The Heat are asking fans attending the game to dress in black. Boy do the Heat love doing that shit. But it’ll be totally worth dressing up like some kind of religious cult if…
Tonight’s home opener of the newly stacked Miami Heat should be one of those rare sports moments that brings the entire Miami community together, but as per usual the city has too much dirty laundry to show a truly united front. Instead, the scene outside American Airlines Arena will be…
Watching Cody Ross rip through Major League Baseball’s postseason got us wondering about former Florida Marlins who have tasted sweet success during the Fall Classic since the team won the World Series in 2003.Watching these cats succeed only convinces us more that the Marlins gave up on a dynasty in…
Certain corners of the web seem like a race to see who can over share the most. LeBron James’ just relaunched website seems like it’s winning for self aggrandizement. Which is fine. We love us some healthy ego, but it’s almost a little too much.Want to know what LeBron James…
A group of witches gathered in a Cleveland radio station yesterday with a voodoo doll, some pig bones, a pentagram and a fake human skull to perform a ritual to curse the Heat’s LeBron James. This might explain the Heat’s opening night loss to the Celtics. It might explain why…
Yesterday, we told you that Hollywood’s Whiskey Tango All-American Bar & Grill would pick up patrons’ bar tab, up to $25, when/if the Heat suffered their first loss…
Who is Miami supposed to root for in the World Series when it’s not one of those weird years when the Marlins somehow manage to wind up winning it? The city’s important risqué men’s underwear industry is apparently lining up behind the San Francisco Giants. Papi, a Miami-based brand of…
So last night’s Heat game against the Celtics was a painful thing to watch. Granted, if that was the Heat playing at its worst against one of the league’s other premier squads in very hostile territory, we probably don’t have anything to worry about this season. That’s what we’ll tell…
