Thousands Expected to Protest Before Tonight’s Heat Game

Tonight’s home opener of the newly stacked Miami Heat should be one of those rare sports moments that brings the entire Miami community together, but as per usual the city has too much dirty laundry to show a truly united front. Instead, the scene outside American Airlines Arena will be…

Former Marlins Excel in Fall Classic

Watching Cody Ross rip through Major League Baseball’s postseason got us wondering about former Florida Marlins who have tasted sweet success during the Fall Classic since the team won the World Series in 2003.Watching these cats succeed only convinces us more that the Marlins gave up on a dynasty in…

LeBron James’ New Website Is Like the Ultimate MySpace

Certain corners of the web seem like a race to see who can over share the most. LeBron James’ just relaunched website seems like it’s winning for self aggrandizement. Which is fine. We love us some healthy ego, but it’s almost a little too much.Want to know what LeBron James…

Cleveland Witches Have Placed a Hex on LeBron James, Apparently

A group of witches gathered in a Cleveland radio station yesterday with a voodoo doll, some pig bones, a pentagram and a fake human skull to perform a ritual to curse the Heat’s LeBron James. This might explain the Heat’s opening night loss to the Celtics. It might explain why…

Miami Underwear Company Sends Man Thongs to SF Giants

Who is Miami supposed to root for in the World Series when it’s not one of those weird years when the Marlins somehow manage to wind up winning it? The city’s important risqué men’s underwear industry is apparently lining up behind the San Francisco Giants. Papi, a Miami-based brand of…

Live Blog: Heat vs. Celtics

Have no one to watch tonight’s Heat-Celtics NBA season debut with? You do have someone to watch it with but they don’t provide the same award-winning, rapier-like wit banter you find here on your friendly neighborhood Miami New Times blog?Well, have no fear! Because the Riptide 2.0 Heat vs. Celtics…

Is Chad Ochocinco’s Pigeon-Birthing Saga a Fraud?

Liberty City native and Cincinnati Bengals star Chad Ochocinco has been tweeting up a storm about the bizarre saga of his pregnant pigeon. He even expressed frustration upon learning that pigeons lay eggs and do not give live birth. Today he tweeted pictures of the newly hatched pigeon babies. Problem…

Ricky Williams Dresses as Jason Taylor for Halloween

Oh, girl, who knew Dolphins players could get so catty? And not just wild catty. Ricky Williams showed up at the team’s Halloween bash last night dressed as former teammate Jason Taylor. Poking fun at Taylor’s run on Dancing With the Stars, Williams wore a getup that included a giant…

Computers: Miami Heat Has 100 Percent Chance of Making Playoffs

The NBA regular season kicks off tonight with the Miami Heat taking on the Boston Celetics. Those 82 games seem to be just a formality for the Heat, because AccuScore’s jocky computers have declared that without even 0.1 percent of a doubt, the team will make the playoffs. Though AccuScore doesn’t seem…

LeBron James Teams with Miami Vice‘s Don Johnson for Nike Ad

LeBron James is finally addressing the haters in a sure-to-be-controversial new Nike ad. He’s taking on some serious criticism and calling a certain hater out by name, but the ad ultimately skews light-hearted with a cameo by none other than Miami Vice’s Don Johnson. James asks, “What should I do?”…

Dolphins Get Hosed, Lose Heartbreaker to the Steelers

Just when you think the Miami Dolphins can’t get screwed any harder. Just when you think this team has seen the worst of its ball-clobbering misfortune, comes a loss like yesterday’s 23-22 cockpunch against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Not only did the officiating crew take a monumental shit on the Dolphins…

USA Today Runs Front Page Anti-Heat Propaganda

USA Today sure had a big scoop splashed across its front page today. Apparently, everyone in America outside of Miami hates the Miami Heat. That’s real breaking news there. Someone notify the Pulitzers.At least we did learn a few things. Like the fact that apparently people view the Miami Heat…

Dolphins Lose First-Round Pick Odrick for the Season

The Miami Dolphins have lost the services of rookie defensive end Jared Odrick for the season after he suffered a broken leg during practice on Wednesday. This is the second time Odrick breaks his leg this year. He suffered a hairline fracture during the first game of the season. He…

Action Fight League Holding Audition for MMA Hopefuls

Attention big palookas dreaming of being the next Brock Lesnar! The Action Fight League wants to see if you have what it takes to enter the octagon at the Hard Rock Live. The AFL is hosting an MMA audition this Saturday at its North Miami Beach gym for aspiring mixed…

Prized ‘Canes Recruit Latwan Anderson Ditches Football Team

Latwan Anderson came into the University of Miami as the 15th best recruit of the ’10 recruiting class in the entire nation according to Rivals.com. Now its unclear if he’ll be playing football at Miami, or anywhere for that matter. According to The Herald, Anderson has left the football team…

LeBron James Receives Racist Twitter Message

Yesterday on his Twitter feed, LeBron James re-tweeted criticism from some, let’s call them “disgruntled,” fans. He then proclaimed the day as Hater Day, telling the twitterverse that the haters need their two minutes of fame too. The tweets were your typical everyday re-hashed LeBron affronts. People calling him a…