Here’s Chris Bosh’s Insane Elephant Birthday Cake

Sure, Chris Bosh had a live-tweeting camel at his birthday party last night, but the real highlight was the cake.We’ve seen crazy cakes at parties for LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, but leave it to Bosh to commission a tiny pastry version of himself riding a cake elephant…

FIU Basketball Coach Richard Pitino Hired by Minnesota

It’s one and done at FIU for head basketball coach Richard Pitino. According to ESPN, Pitino has been hired to fill the vacancy at the University of Minnesota after just one season as the Golden Panthers’ top dog.See also:- FIU Might Redesign Their Basketball Court to Look Like a Cheesy…

Mike Piazza to Appear Onstage With Miami City Ballet

Miami City Ballet is about to have its own experience with dancing with the stars. Former All-Star catcher Mike Piazza (who, you might recall, was a Florida Marlins once for approximately a week) will join the production Slaughter on Tenth Avenue on May 3. …

Melo Drops 50 as Knicks Beat Depleted Heat 102-90

Heat fans tuning in for a possible Eastern Conference Finals preview Tuesday night were instead treated to another helping of the Miami Heat “B-Team” with an extra-large side of Carmelo Anthony ass. Anthony sizzled all night long, finishing with a career-high-tying 50 points as the New York Knicks pulled away…

Eight People Whose Miami Dolphins Tattoos Are Now Outdated

You love your team so much that you get its logo permanently tattooed on your skin. Then the team does the unthinkable: changes that logo. Sure, that automatically establishes you as an old-school fan of sorts, but it’s gotta suck when you have something inked on your body that the…

Heat’s Winning Streak Ends at 27 With Loss in Chicago

If you have a heart condition or are pregnant, you should not continue reading this article due to possible health-related concerns: The Miami Heat lost. Nope, don’t update your Miami New Times app; this is today’s news. No need to check if today is April 1, still a few days…

The New Dolphins Logo That Leaked Is Legit

So much for the element of surprise. Turns out that the Dolphins logo that leaked online months ago is in fact the new mark the team will be using next season. The team isn’t expected to officially announce the change (along with upgraded uniforms) until April 25, but the Miami…

Heat Takes Care of Magic 108-94, Wins 27th Straight Game

Another night, another Miami Heat win — it’s whatever, bro. The Heat took its 27th straight win Monday night, turning what was a close game late in the third quarter into a ball-stomping 108-94 blowout of the Orlando Magic. Once again without Dwyane Wade, the Heat was able to blow…