Ten Movie Blockbusters as Cupcakes

Memorial Day ranks as one of the biggest movie-going weekends of the year. The start of summer blockbuster season, millions of theater-goers run to the multiplex to beat the heat and be one of the first to see what’s bigger, faster and funnier this year. According to NBC, The Hangover…

Did Two Miami Lakes Councilmen Violate The Sunshine Law Via Facebook?

Like any social-media-savvy politician, Miami Lakes Councilman Nelson Hernandez uses Facebook to correspond with his constituents. “This is the 21st Century,” Hernandez says. “Why wouldn’t I use a great communication tool to get my message across?”But a town resident accuses Hernandez and Councilman Richard Pulido of using Facebook as a…

Video: Bryan Hawn Introduces New Times To His Hyena

You gotta admit, buying a hyena and keeping it as your pet in a South Beach apartment is pretty ballsy. It’s even gutsier to turn yourself in to the Florida Wildlife & Game Commission so that your pet hyena can be placed in a proper home. That’s what Bryan Hawn…

Miami Herald Home Sold: Time for the Kids to Go to College

The McClatchy Co. announced this morning that it has sold one of Miami’s most iconic buildings to a Malaysian resort and gambling company.The company’s chairman, Gary Pruitt, said it was no longer the era for a newspaper to be located on the bay. That says something about daily newspapers.The good…

Luther Campbell Would Like To Thank His Voters

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke, who lost in Tuesday’s mayoral election, lets voters explain why they chose him.I raised only $12,000 for…

Diddy Changes His Name to Swag for a Week

Sean Combs used to be famous for hanging out with The Notorious B.I.G. Now he’s famous for a bunch of stupid crap like Making the Band, a show whose cultural relevance can be measured in how funny you find Dave Chapelle’s parody. In addition to tabloid fodder like gun scandals…

Models, Hyenas, Lemurs Oh My!

Usually the only exotic creatures one comes across on South Beach are leggy fashion models. But the American Riviera is an underground wild animal kingdom. This week, we brought you the story of Bryan Hawn, a dude who kept an African spotted hyena in his apartment for almost eleven months…

Dispatches From the 2011 Special Mayoral Election

12:00 p.m.: Just arrived at Norland Methodist Church in Miami Gardens wearing my Luther Campbell for Mayor tee. Holding my yard sign I start stumping for votes as a pair of elderly African American ladies get out of their car. “Punch 17! Don’t let Julio Robaina’s $1.2 million buy the…

Bob Dylan, America’s Greatest Mystic Poet, is 70 Today

The Minnesota Bard is seven decades old today. He is my hero. He is crazy. He owns — or owned – a big yacht. His mom knew my grandma in the North Country, where I was born. He was Jewish, Christian, and turned the Beatles on to LSD….Yackity, yackity. You…

Five Reasons Carlos Gimenez Is The Wrong Man For The Job

Today is the day Miami-Dade voters who did not cast their ballots via absentee or during early voting days get their turn. With that said, we can’t have y’all voting for former county Commissioner Carlos Gimenez, who is playing spoiler to Luther Campbell’s chances to make the run-off against Hialeah…

Voters Know That Luther Campbell Is Dead Serious

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, with the election still hanging in the balance, Luke reflects on the mayoral campaign he made serious.A few…

Five Tips to Help Miami Chum Bucket Get Back on Track

At the end of March, punk music venue and multipurpose space Miami Chum Bucket opened with the chaotic roar of powerviolence virtuosos Gorilla Pussy and the wild churning of an inaugural, non-stop mosh pit. The moment marked the culmination of over a year of fundraising. But less than two months…

15 Food Statistics That Should Make You Cry

2 million: Dogs and cats abused and killed by the international fur industry each year that was made from domesticated dogs. Humane Society of the United States (HSUS). (A previous version of this blog item erroneously reported that Burlington Coat Factory was involved in this activity. The reference arose from…