Canes QB Jacory Harris Needs To Chat With Coach Chris Perkins

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Miami Hurricanes starting quarterback needs a talking-to from his high school quarterbacks coach.Jacory Harris should be…

Marc Sarnoff Is In Love With Micky Arison

On a day when he wasn’t trying to figure out which one of his Coconut Grove houses he lives in, Miami city Commissioner Marc Sarnoff decided to show his adoration for the Miami Heat’s billionaire owner. During the Miami community redevelopment agency’s public hearing yesterday, the city commission was considering…

Has Bravo Secretly Been Filming Real Housewives of Miami?

Miami seems like the perfect location for a spin-off of the Reality TV behemoth Real Housewives franchise that Bravo has unleashed on the world. Though, when The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiers next month there will be six distinct Housewives series, so we have to wonder if Bravo even…

Ninjasonik Gonna Get Internet Bitches Pregnant at Grand Central

With your anemic attention span fed on endless helpings of Adult Swim, Count Chocula, and hot chronic, maybe a night of partying alongside Brooklyn rap punks Ninjasonik doesn’t sound all that exciting. Well, bro, you need to get off that jaded hipster ish because these three cross-genre scientists are the…

Miami Lakes Taxpayers Pay For Nancy Simon’s Legal Defense

UPDATE: Miami Lakes Town Attorney Mitchell Bierman, a partner with the law firm Weiss, Serota et al. informs Banana Republican that Florida law allows elected officials to seek reimbursement for legal expenses incurred fighting ethics charges that are eventually dismissed. He also provided us with town legislation that allows Miami…

MP3 of the Day: Dissever – “Fling”

I don’t entirely understand what the whole “flinging” aspect is that these four sweaty and most certainly not “boy band” material dudes are aiming for, but I’m hip and I’m kinda with it so I think I have an inkling of intention here. This is technically proficient metal with nuances…

Brickell Pimping Sushi

Sushi Siam​The overpopulation of sushi restaurants in Brickell has reached epidemic proportions. From Abokado to Zuma, Japanese cuisine is invading downtown like white on rice. Whether standing on their own or housed in the lobbies of hotels and condominiums, one has to wonder if the citizens are crying out for…

Mixtape Of The Week: Ya Boi Chad – Live Band & A Mic

A lot of Miami’s more prominent rappers usually represent neighborhoods north and even way-north of Flagler street, but the southern end of the county has rarely had much talent make it to the forefront of the local hip-hop scene. Here to change all of that is a Goulds-based rapper by…

World Hunger: Good News, Bad News

First, the good news: The number of chronically hungry people in the world has dropped for the first time in 15 years, according to “The State of Food Insecurity in the World” report that will be jointly released by the Rome-based Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO)…

Miami City Commissioner Marc Sarnoff Deserves a Federal Investigation

Wilfredo FerrerUnited States Attorney, Southern District of Florida99 NE Fourth St., Miami, FL 33132Dear Mr. Ferrer,Banana Republican commends you for cracking down on the scoundrels responsible for the rampant mortgage fraud plaguing South Florida. With that in mind, we want to bring a related case to your immediate attention. We…

Venus and Serena Williams Deserve the Best

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke says the Williams sisters don’t get their due.Venus and Serena Williams represent black people and female athletes in…

New Times Cleans Up in Green Eyeshades

Miami New Times cleaned up in the nondaily division of the 60th Annual Green Eyeshade Awards, which determine the best work in 11 Southeastern states. Former staff writer Natalie O’Neill took first place in investigative reporting for “Piece of Mind,” a probe of suicides and other problems at the mental health…

North Miami Beach Manager Canned After Snitching on City Council

The Miami Herald reports this morning that the North Miami Beach City Council fired City Manager Kelvin Baker last night. Although no specifics were given, Banana Republican wonders if his termination had anything to do with Baker accusing some city council members of violating the state’s Sunshine Law.This past August 31,…

Blast From the Past: The Jackie Papers – Uckfay Ooyay

The Jackie Papers Uckfay Ooyay (Stiff Pole Records) www.stiffpolerecords.com In honor of Richard “Big Stiff” Konwinski, who passed this past July in Tampa, I’ll be juggling between the County Grind and Crossfade blogs doing my Blast From the Past thing on the record label that he founded, Stiff Pole Records,…