Joshua Black, St. Pete Rep. Candidate, Calls for Hanging Obama for Treason

A St. Petersburg-area candidate for the Florida House of Representatives Monday called for hanging President Barack Obama for treason. Citing an Obama-ordered drone strike that killed an unarmed civilian, Joshua Black, a candidate for House District 68, announced first by Facebook and then by Twitter: “I’m past impeachment. It’s time…

Justin Bieber Must Commit Crime To Become a Gangster

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking music made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke doles out some advice to pop music’s bad boy. Justin Bieber is no different from Kim Kardashian…

AR’s Listening Party at Circle House: “Get on My Level”

Independent hustler AR is a rapper who wants you to get on his level. You’re going to need a Bentley, several cases of Ciroc, a backyard party at the Circle House, and a single with Jim Jones. We were there at his new music listening party on Saturday night, getting…

Could Florida’s Mugshot Industry Be Coming to an End?

In Florida, it’s practically impossible to escape one’s poor decision thanks to dozens of websites that exist to repost mugshots and charge offenders to take them down. The effect of this cottage industry on vulnerable offenders is well-documented, and it can cost thousands of dollars to clear one’s Google search…

Five Reasons Miami Sushi Sucks

On the outside, it seems like Miami has all the necessary ingredients for fantastic sushi: a seaside location, an international culture, and a love of food. It turns out that’s not enough. We’re seriously lacking in the sushi department. Here are five reasons Miami sushi isn’t up to snuff. See…

Black Men Hate Scandal, Women Love It

Black women across America are jonesing for the return of Scandal, a hit TV show on ABC about a hot, intelligent, African-American lady who has a love affair with the president of the United States. But it’s not Obama. This fictional leader of the free world happens to be a…

Reader Mail: Cheap Beer, Kat Stacks, and Nip Slips

Where’s the Cheap Beer? But expensive beer is better: Yep, times are changing (“One Man’s Quest to Find a $1 Beer in South Florida,” Kyle Swenson January 9). When I was younger, people would do slum-bar crawls and have private parties and drink case after case of this cheap watered-down…

Miami’s Most Notoriously Named Places: Raul Martinez City Hall and More

The Hialeah City Commission Tuesday voted unanimously to take former mayor Raul Martinez’s name off city hall. The current mayor, Carlos Hernandez, a longtime critic of the indicted but later cleared politician, pushed the measure, saying, “The building belongs to the people.” For good measure, the council also agreed to…

South Miami Taxpayers Shell Out $90K After Cops Ruin Quince Party

Julio Sanchez began planning his daughter’s quinceañera almost three years in advance. One of the things the Cuban-American loved about his daughter Janessa was her thoughtfulness, and she decided a small, inexpensive get-together would do just fine when the time came. Nothing like the elaborate, $20,000 blowouts some of her…

Black Women Love Scandal, but Black Men Hate It

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke pontificates on TV’s most titillating program. Black women across America are jonesing for the return of Scandal, a…

Taco Bell Now Sells Jewelry

More and more people are willing to brand themselves with their favorite product’s logo — and pay for it. Iconic logos like Coca-Cola and Budweiser are available in wearables such as T-shirts, hats, and board shorts, which people happily purchase to showcase their favorite food or drink. Now that fad…

Lube Sour and Five Other Drinks for Drag Queens

Don’t be a drag, just be a queen … Or a male bartender dressed up as Miss Magnolia Thunderpussy, Ivanna Shaker, Roxy Rodriguez, and the rest of the fierce bitches at Blackbird Ordinary’s Speed Drag. Male bartenders from the Broken Shaker, Haven, and other local watering holes unleashed their inner…

Real Housewife Made Rosie O’Donnell Flee Star Island

Real Housewives of Miami cast member Lisa Hochstein and her husband Dr. Lenny “Boob God” Hochstien are currently in a war with preservations to tear down a historic Star Island mansion and build the party house of their dreams, but they’ve already deprived Star Island of another icon: Rosie O’Donnell…

Anthony Bourdain World Market: Authentic or Epcot?

Meet Anthony Bourdain. Chef, author, television host, comic book writer, publisher, professional Twitterer, and now food court mogul. Oh, yes, kiddies. Page Six of the New York Post has shared the exclusive scoop that Bourdain is planning on opening a food court spotlighting all the street food he’s been raving…

Chris Christie Gone in Florida. Rubio Rising.

Big news today is that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie fulfilled everyone’s political expectations and killed his own candidacy for the Republican nomination for presidency in 2016. A top aide, it seems, pushed for “traffic problems” in the city of Fort Lee as retribution against a mayor who wouldn’t back…

Does Tropical Chinese Serve the Best Dim Sum in Miami?

For several decades now, Tropical Chinese Restaurant has been serving its a la carte dim sum menu across the street from Tropical Park on Bird Road. Many Miami foodies swear by the place, insisting that Tropical Chinese serves the “best dim sum” in the county. Whether or not you agree,…

Credit Miami Northwestern for Putting Education Above Football

Miami Northwestern Senior High Principal Wallace Aristide has done the unthinkable. He has turned the school into an academic institution that received its first A grade this year. Aristide has now fulfilled the vision of his predecessor, Charles Hankerson. Hankerson, you might recall, is the former principal who butted heads…

Reader Mail: Don’t Call the Conspiracy Cop Crazy

The Masked Man Dude is crazy: Obviously, Ericson Harrell, the police officer throwing a fit about getting arrested in a Guy Fawkes mask (“The Cop Behind the Mask,” Terrence McCoy, January 2), is having some sort of brain issue that is causing delusional thinking and mild schizophrenia and paranoia. Most…

Edible Anus: Chocolate for A-holes

Edible Anus via FacebookImagine the surprise when your boss opens this.Did you ever have to give a gift to someone who’s, well, a bit of an asshole? We’ve found the perfect present: Edible Anus! It’s exactly what you think it is. Fine Belgian chocolate in the shape of a butthole…