Mugshot Fridays: Selena Fan, Sisqo Wannabe, Troubled Goth Kid

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Jeb Bush Changes Mind on Presidential Run. Can He Beat Hillary?

The word hit the street yesterday: Jeb Bush, who not long ago seemed out of the presidential race, has a 30 percent chance of running. A key question is whether moderate Chris Christie can lose 50 pounds falters. Politico reported yesterday morning that Wall Street insiders were talking about Bush…

Reader Mail: Wynwood Club Crapola

Murder Most Risqué Sublimate and stab: Regarding the feature story about the murderous porn star John Snavely (“Champ,” Michael E. Miller, October 31): Obviously Snavely was an escort as well. This article seemed to be beating around the bush. Many strippers also escort. And he wasn’t tricked into gay porn…

Richard Dunn’s Pathetic Attempt to Defeat Keon Hardemon

Rev. Richard P. Dunn II is a desperate man. He thought he would cruise to an easy victory in the race to represent Miami’s predominantly black district on the city commission. Instead, he will limp into the November 19 runoff against assistant public defender Keon Hardemon, who received twice as…

Meat Market: Now Serving Lunch (Photos)

Meat Market, the Lincoln Road restaurant helmed by chef Sean Brasel, opened for dinner five years ago. Now, for the first time since its inception, you can also dine there for lunch. Short Order was recently invited to try their new offerings. Check out more details and pictures after the…

One Direction’s “Story Of My Life”: Why This Song Sucks

Courtesy of Columbia/SycoZayn and the crew [Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Song: One Direction’s “Story Of My Life” History: A long time ago there were barber shop quartets and then after that the New Kids On…

Love-Child Daddy Dan Marino to “Restore Respect” to Dolphins

Try not to laugh when you read this. The Dolphins, whom the Bucs clobbered last night, are in an obvious tailspin. So now, following l’affaire Incognito, team owner Stephen Ross, who solemnly declared himself “appalled” yesterday, has assembled a few Men of Honor to Restore Respect to the Dolphins. These…

Richard P. Dunn II Is Getting as Nasty as He Wants to Be

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has a few choice words about a Miami City Commission candidate. Rev. Richard P. Dunn II is a…

Tobacco Road Turns 101! Ten Classic Moments From Miami’s Oldest Bar

Guys with dark beads, black Holly Hunt T-shirts, and red paisley and Hawaiian flower pattered button downs, ladies in long black and white printed dresses, pink shorts, and leopard tops, and former local rock stars crowded 626 South Miami Avenue on Friday for Tobacco Road’s 101st Anniversary Bash. Celebrating just…

Video Game Hotline Miami Slanders the Magic City, Says History

Lydia had just left a phone message, and it sounded urgent. “I need a babysitter,” she murmured into the Miami man’s voicemail from her house on East Seventh Street. “There are a few kids here that need to be disciplined. I really need someone to get through to these rascals,…

Zagat Says Python-Topped Pizza in Ft. Myers Best Represents Florida

Zagat has declared the “Everglades Pizza” at Evan’s Neighborhood Pizza in Ft. Myers as the pizza that best represents the state of Florida. The pie contains somewhat, er, original toppings, such as python, whole frog legs, and alligator sausage. It also costs $45 for a 14-inch pie. You may remember…

Obama in Miami Today to Chase Latin Vote — and Money

As his administration is nailed for health-care incompetence, President Obama is escaping to Miami today for three Democratic Party fundraisers and to curry favor with Latin voters. He arrives at 3:45 p.m. at MIA and will hang around town until tomorrow at 3:25 p.m. One event will benefit the Democratic…

Kanye and Kim’s Nuptials

Kanye West is arguably the most entertaining rap artist in the world. Even when you are hating on him, you have to love him because you never know what crazy shit he might say or do. He’s like the youngest brother in a big family who is always doing wild…

Reader Mail: Biking While Black Shouldn’t Be a Crime

Profiling Cyclists Cops doing their jobs: So you wrote five pages of literary B.S. about how police are supposedly harassing black bicycle riders over their registrations (“Biking While Black,” Kyle Swenson, October 31)? But basically you’re accusing the cops of enforcing a law they are sworn to enforce at the…

Katy Perry’s “Roar”: Why This Song Sucks

[Editor’s Note: In his new column, Serrano Time, award-winning goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Better put on your shoes, because your socks are about to be blown off.] History: Katy Perry was born in 1984, except back then people called her “Katy Hudson” because that’s her…

Jonathan Martin Should Have Stood Up To Richie Incognito

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke weighs in on the Miami Dolphins bullygate. The Miami Dolphins have never experienced this much off-the-field controversy. The NFL…

EDM Is Sexist: Eight Reasons It Sucks to Be a Woman Who Raves

As a self-respecting female with professional aspirations and a desire to be taken seriously as an individual, it’s become increasingly difficult to identify with American electronic dance music culture without feeling kind of irresponsible. Six or seven years ago, the playing field was pretty even. We went out to parties,…